• toofpic@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to “become a normie”, and I learned that it wasn’t because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can’t resist assholes.

            • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              1 month ago

              Perhaps ironically, this is pretentious enough to convince me that you may indeed be an asshole.

              Task failed successfully?

                • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  1 month ago

                  Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?

                  By showing that you are actually confident that being consistently pretentious is a good way to showcase this, despite claiming you have no confidence?

                  By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?

                  I dunno, I’ve been around a lot of assholes, constantly contradicting themselves in ‘clever’ ways is pretty bog standard behavior.

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        implies confidence.

        nope. it implies a craven amount of insecurity.

        it says something though that so many people assume this, it’s certainly not just you.

        • blarghly@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Whatever. It gives off the impression of confidence. We’re trying to explain observed phenomena here, not cast moral judgements.

        • toofpic@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          In my case, you’re wrong, the guy is like a tank, insecurity is not the case. I see some people trying to “dig deeper”:

          • “maybe the women have insecurities, so it is them who are to blame”
          • “maybe the asshole is not an asshole, he just has a childhood trauma”
            No, he is a confident asshole, and his “charm” works one some women (and not each of them falls into made-up categories). People look for patterns too much. “I’m a red-piller” - lol, that’s a first.
            Note, I’m not protecting the guy, but he is not a comic-book villain with an origin story. He just happens to be successful in finding one-night stands because of a personal trait.
            Edit: forgotten line breaks
          • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            the guy is like a tank

            a lot of people who over-invest on physical attributes have serious insecurities.

            I hold to my premise. it in no way discredits him being an asshole in his coping with these issues.

            • toofpic@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Not strong like a tank, I meant by attitude. Ok, you invent whatever person you want in your head.

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      1 month ago

      When you say things like “some women can’t resist assholes” it sounds like red pill rhetoric. A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        When you say things like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities” it’s incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.

        Like begets like. I’ve known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.

        • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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          1 month ago

          The amount of tone policing here is fantastic, everyone is finding something problematic about what is being said even though the actual effect is mostly agreed on