The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don’t need help conversing, I need to know the locations of like groups of nature loving book readers that actively want to chat and how to find their schedule.
You say this, but you’re also in this thread rejecting advice about how to find people because you don’t want to talk to people that you find that way, and telling a story about how you’ve apparently not followed through with someone who asked you on a date. It sounds like you’re self sabotaging by refusing to try.
Edit: and to be clear, my main point in this line of comments is that people with active friendships tend to have a much easier time finding available potential partners. That’s an active part of the search strategy.
Well so far nobody has given advice related to the actual question, just vague platitudes mostly, like “make friends.” “Ok, where they at?” Silence. I don’t have problems talking with people, I have problems finding people my age that are looking to chat in person. Again, once I find them, I’m off to the races, but where are they? Nobody wants to just chat anywhere I currently go, so where are these chatty cathys?
That was years ago, I was a young man who has never been “asked out” outright before or since, of course the humorous anecdote included me fumbling it. You sound like you think know a lot about me from one story a decade old, what are you Google Analytics or something?
so i am in the same boat as you. but here is my plan. any good comic book store/board game place has meet ups. my plan is that if you have a combined goal, such as a board game, you can ignore any tension and awkwardness, and focus on fun!
now one, i have had this plan for a wile and still have issues acting on it.
two, my family a has informed me that women to not go to board game parlors. though they tell me i have to go to church to find love… and that’s a hefty no. but once i get through some stuff i might be acceptable dateing material
We have a TTRPG store, so that’d be a possibility, but my comic store doesn’t have meetups afaik and everyone I’ve seen there my age is Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.
Huh, are you my brother or something? Family says same, I say she’ll figure out I’m not religious pretty fast lmao.
may need to hit multiple stores. if your favorite hang out isn’t promoting their game nights in meet up and such, they are losing out on a valuable marketing possibility. i can only hope that more women see it as a possibility, now that d&d streaming is getting more popular.
also biking is a terrible place to try, everyone’s too busy breathing to talk
buti look in the meetup app for things… too bad it’s a “professional ladder climbing” and “timeshare/market share/pyrmid scheme” app nowadays…
We only have the one comic store, mycomicshop made sure of that.
Idk if the TTRPG store advertises, but I haven’t seen it if so. Maybe I’ll just give them a call.
Ahh well sounds like meetup is out for me lol, anything that begins with “install app” is pretty much a no from me dawg, I got grapheneOS and don’t want to install the crap I intentionally kicked off my phone lol.
well the meetup app is mainly a portal to the web page. so i would give that a try instead. my warning about the professionals meetups are not to push the idea that you would be catfished or anything, just don’t be surprised that a lot of area meet ups may be for that, but are usually blatant in their posting
we got to be careful. i constantly fall into the trap of hopelessness and kill ideas before their hatched. trying to be better, i think i would make a great partner! i just have to give myself a chance
Well so far nobody has given advice related to the actual question, just vague platitudes mostly, like “make friends.” “Ok, where they at?” Silence.
The top of this thread was me suggesting meetups. Like meetup.com is still around. I think facebook has a competitor, but I don’t use facebook. There are other local groups, but those are local and I can’t point you to any unless you happen to live in new york city.
Never heard of meetup.com, are they privacy invasive? I too do not use facebook or any of that mess (see my previous question haha).
As to your local groups, do you remember how you found any of them? While I may be in a different locale it’s possible the same or similar discovery techniques will work for my area.
Meetup.com has been around for years. I think it was founded after 9/11 and the owner was like “what am i doing with my life? i want to meet people”. I knew a bunch of people who worked there, and they were always sad that such a good idea wasn’t managed better. I go to one local meetup for board games, and I used to go to another one that was just “brooklyn outdoor hangouts”.
So far as I know they’re not particularly privacy invasive. They make money by charging the people running the meetups, so there’s less incentive to screw with the attending users. My friends don’t work there anymore though, so I’m not up to date on their latest.
Another vector for finding stuff was location based. Like, looking up places and seeing what they’re offering. There’s a community center not far from me, so I looked up what kind of stuff they do. They have recreational sports, book clubs, some sort of ballroom dancing class, and more. The local library also does events. I went to a couple of those I found on their website. There are board game cafes near me that do regular events, though you often have to pay so I don’t go to them much. Prospect Park (the big park in brooklyn) does some events too, but those seem to be mostly one-off. For making friends and finding partners you want recurring encounters.
I know bars are a cliché, but some do events you can enjoy without drinking booze. One near me does D&D nights in the back. I didn’t join but I chatted with them, and they meet on the regular. Trivia nights are popular, though I found that works better if you bring at least one existing friend to get started.
For new york, there are also websites like https://donyc.com/free-events-nyc . I haven’t used this much, but a friend swears by it. I don’t think it’s as good for making new friends, because of a lot of the stuff is like big, impersonal, events. But your local city might have a similar publication.
Less useful for getting started, there’s also word of mouth. A friend of mine told me about a local recreational sports league they play in. Someone else told me about a bird watching club that meets in the mornings.
You say this, but you’re also in this thread rejecting advice about how to find people because you don’t want to talk to people that you find that way, and telling a story about how you’ve apparently not followed through with someone who asked you on a date. It sounds like you’re self sabotaging by refusing to try.
Edit: and to be clear, my main point in this line of comments is that people with active friendships tend to have a much easier time finding available potential partners. That’s an active part of the search strategy.
Well so far nobody has given advice related to the actual question, just vague platitudes mostly, like “make friends.” “Ok, where they at?” Silence. I don’t have problems talking with people, I have problems finding people my age that are looking to chat in person. Again, once I find them, I’m off to the races, but where are they? Nobody wants to just chat anywhere I currently go, so where are these chatty cathys?
That was years ago, I was a young man who has never been “asked out” outright before or since, of course the humorous anecdote included me fumbling it. You sound like you think know a lot about me from one story a decade old, what are you Google Analytics or something?
so i am in the same boat as you. but here is my plan. any good comic book store/board game place has meet ups. my plan is that if you have a combined goal, such as a board game, you can ignore any tension and awkwardness, and focus on fun!
now one, i have had this plan for a wile and still have issues acting on it. two, my family a has informed me that women to not go to board game parlors. though they tell me i have to go to church to find love… and that’s a hefty no. but once i get through some stuff i might be acceptable dateing material
We have a TTRPG store, so that’d be a possibility, but my comic store doesn’t have meetups afaik and everyone I’ve seen there my age is Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.
Huh, are you my brother or something? Family says same, I say she’ll figure out I’m not religious pretty fast lmao.
may need to hit multiple stores. if your favorite hang out isn’t promoting their game nights in meet up and such, they are losing out on a valuable marketing possibility. i can only hope that more women see it as a possibility, now that d&d streaming is getting more popular.
also biking is a terrible place to try, everyone’s too busy breathing to talk
buti look in the meetup app for things… too bad it’s a “professional ladder climbing” and “timeshare/market share/pyrmid scheme” app nowadays…
We only have the one comic store, mycomicshop made sure of that.
Idk if the TTRPG store advertises, but I haven’t seen it if so. Maybe I’ll just give them a call.
Ahh well sounds like meetup is out for me lol, anything that begins with “install app” is pretty much a no from me dawg, I got grapheneOS and don’t want to install the crap I intentionally kicked off my phone lol.
well the meetup app is mainly a portal to the web page. so i would give that a try instead. my warning about the professionals meetups are not to push the idea that you would be catfished or anything, just don’t be surprised that a lot of area meet ups may be for that, but are usually blatant in their posting
we got to be careful. i constantly fall into the trap of hopelessness and kill ideas before their hatched. trying to be better, i think i would make a great partner! i just have to give myself a chance
The top of this thread was me suggesting meetups. Like meetup.com is still around. I think facebook has a competitor, but I don’t use facebook. There are other local groups, but those are local and I can’t point you to any unless you happen to live in new york city.
Never heard of meetup.com, are they privacy invasive? I too do not use facebook or any of that mess (see my previous question haha).
As to your local groups, do you remember how you found any of them? While I may be in a different locale it’s possible the same or similar discovery techniques will work for my area.
Meetup.com has been around for years. I think it was founded after 9/11 and the owner was like “what am i doing with my life? i want to meet people”. I knew a bunch of people who worked there, and they were always sad that such a good idea wasn’t managed better. I go to one local meetup for board games, and I used to go to another one that was just “brooklyn outdoor hangouts”.
So far as I know they’re not particularly privacy invasive. They make money by charging the people running the meetups, so there’s less incentive to screw with the attending users. My friends don’t work there anymore though, so I’m not up to date on their latest.
Another vector for finding stuff was location based. Like, looking up places and seeing what they’re offering. There’s a community center not far from me, so I looked up what kind of stuff they do. They have recreational sports, book clubs, some sort of ballroom dancing class, and more. The local library also does events. I went to a couple of those I found on their website. There are board game cafes near me that do regular events, though you often have to pay so I don’t go to them much. Prospect Park (the big park in brooklyn) does some events too, but those seem to be mostly one-off. For making friends and finding partners you want recurring encounters.
I know bars are a cliché, but some do events you can enjoy without drinking booze. One near me does D&D nights in the back. I didn’t join but I chatted with them, and they meet on the regular. Trivia nights are popular, though I found that works better if you bring at least one existing friend to get started.
For new york, there are also websites like https://donyc.com/free-events-nyc . I haven’t used this much, but a friend swears by it. I don’t think it’s as good for making new friends, because of a lot of the stuff is like big, impersonal, events. But your local city might have a similar publication.
Less useful for getting started, there’s also word of mouth. A friend of mine told me about a local recreational sports league they play in. Someone else told me about a bird watching club that meets in the mornings.
Cool thanks! This could be helpful, I’ll check it out!