I’m mentally ill too to be clear so it kind of goes both ways here lol. I’m a self destructive type of person so I feel like I almost deserve and even enjoy being treated like shit in some sort of way

I’m raised by narcissists and I’m slowly deprogramming from that and I hate to admit this but I think part of the reason I like her is she is extremely easy to manipulate and it’s easy for me to get her to do whatever I want. I don’t really intend to manipulate people but it’s still something I do sometimes that I really wish I didn’t. People with BPD are easily manipulated usually

The flipside is the meds will numb the qualities that make such people so special in the first place

It’s not just the sex that’s the best though. Nobody’s ever been this nice to me before just in general. I really don’t want to run :(

I’ll check that book thx

was she honest about her issues or did she manipulate you? was she working on it?

The good times are especially good and the bad times are especially bad, currently dating one and confused a lot of the time

Sometimes she’s a “pick any hole” kind of girl with fictional tier blowjobs every morning but the flipside is I’m sometimes the worst person in the world because I said something triggering I don’t learn about until days later that isn’t even triggering to a normal person

I’m really sensitive like an empath so I’ve been losing sleep over whether to run or if her gushing love for me part time is worth the struggle, and also it’s stressful thinking I already locked in and she might do something bad to herself if I leave now

Girl is insanely attractive like beyond my league too for context, I’m 31 and she is 26, with cutting scars all over her body which don’t actually scare me but it means it probably will keep happening and there’s nothing I can do about it

So far she’s self aware and warns me when she’s about to get sick again and I think the maturity and honesty is why I haven’t ran yet. But even with warning, and her turning on me soon after, is still incredibly confusing for me

Also she sent me this meme

Died doing what i loved