I don’t envy the writers at the Onion, the way reality is going satire must be hard work.

But it said “do not eat” on the packet and I’m a rebel.

“The West” is Europe and its colonies. Funny to assume anyone you don’t understand is brain dead.

People love to idealize the past…

I mean it starts off with “we have killed your leaders”, to which my immediate thought is “oh sweet, good job aliens,” and then it just keeps making sense from there.

And then you have to rebuild them farther away, creating even more traffic!

I’ve literally seen a test with 4 cars driving around a circle, and they tell the drivers, “go at a consistent speed and maintain the distance in front of you” and after 5 minutes they’re all bunched up on one side of the circle. No amount of zipper merging and nice ramps will fix this.

This is the correct answer. There isn’t a city on earth that has fixed congestion by building for more cars. It’s the places that build for trains and bikes that are best for driving, ironically.

I sent this to my wife.

“Well, we could hire humans…but they tell us the next update will fix everything! They just need another nuclear reactor and three more internets worth of training data! We’re almost there!”

It obfuctates its sources, so you don’t know if the answer to your question is coming from a relevant expert, or the dankest corners of reddit…it all sounds the same after it’s been processed by a hundred billion GPUs!